3 Ways To Be A Good Listener
We are always taught from a young age that listening is important. It’s important at home, at school, at college, at work… it’s important around your spouse or partner and your children. Yet despite knowing this, not everyone is a good listener – some are far better than others. What makes these people so good at what they do? Here are some ways that they are different. If you can incorporate at least some of these ideas into daily life, you will be a good listener too.
They Are Present
When you are listening to someone, it can be tempting to drift off and daydream or start thinking of other things because you become distracted. This isn’t necessarily the fault of the person talking, but it happens nonetheless. When it does happen, it means you’re not fully present, so although you might hear the words being said, you’re not completely listening to them. If you’re not really listening, it can be easy to miss the main point of the conversation or to ignore any potential problems that might be brewing.
It’s important, therefore, to be mindful within any conversations that you are having and to be completely present when you are meant to be listening to someone. That way, by focusing on the words that are being said, you will notice anything wrong (even if it isn’t said explicitly, the tone of voice and body language – something you can learn more about as it is a fascinating topic – easily missed if you are distracted, could tell the full story).
They Are Empathetic
It’s important to listen and listen fully, but it’s also important to empathize with the person you’re listening to. That means putting yourself in their position and trying to understand why they are feeling the way they do. By at least trying to understand what their situation must be like for them, you can better understand how to help if they need assistance. Otherwise, if they’re not asking for help but just need someone to talk to, you can at least understand why this is. It’s a good way of connecting with someone and can make a big difference to them if they know that someone they care about (that’s why they picked you to talk to, after all) gets where they are coming from.
Empathy also means that they are more likely to agree with any advice that you intend to give because they know you have their best interests at heart. With your help, they can get better.
They Have An Open Mind
A good listener does not judge. That’s not what listening is about. Sometimes no advice is needed at all – the person doing the talking just needs to rant and get it all out. What listening does is put everyone involved in a better position to sort out any problems and resolve any conflicts.
The key to being a good listener is being able to listen without giving an opinion unless it is requested – this can be hard, and many people will immediately jump into a discussion that isn’t always what the person doing the talking wants.
