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If you spend any time on psychology blogs, you'll quickly encounter the term "codependency."

On the face of it, it seems like a good thing. Being in a situation of mutual reliance is something that people strive for, both in their relationships and their businesses.

But when psychologists talk about the phenomenon, they're not necessarily referring to something positive. In fact, many believe that it is downright dysfunctional.

The core reason why codependency is such a bad idea is that it takes your happiness out of your control. When you intertwine your sense of worth and fulfillment in life with that of another person or object, you automatically set yourself up for failure. You lose sight of the person you are and, instead, see everything through the filter of something else. And that's where the danger starts.

We know from the experience of drug users that dependency is a negative thing in our lives. People who use both legal and illegal substances are usually trying to paper over fundamental problems in their lives and "feel normal." Many wind up under professional surveillance, though there are now alternatives to going to a drug rehabilitation center.

The fundamental error they make here is handing over the personal responsibility and sovereignty to a chemical substance. And people do the same when they get into a codependent relationship. Their happiness depends on the actions of the other person. It doesn't emerge authentically and organically from their soul.

So how do you avoid relying on another person or object for satisfaction in life? What practical steps can you take to prevent emotional dependency?

Practice Self-Parenting

Many of us develop codependency as a result of our childhoods. Some of us had absent parents who neglected us emotionally. And that left scar tissue that persisted into adult life.

Many people who find that they depend on others need to practice loving self-parenting. The idea here is to speak with your inner child and find ways to stop it from damaging your life chances in the here and now.

Self-care involves saying compassionate and soft things to yourself that slowly build you up over time. You don't have to accept the negative narratives that you have about yourself if you don't want to - you can install new ones.

Let Go Of Attachments

When you get attached to someone (or something), it can be hard even to contemplate letting it go. You want it to last forever - like a child wants the attention of their mother.

This unconscious belief, however, is destructive. We don't live in a universe of permanence. Everything, instead, is temporary.

The only way to break codependency is to make peace with this idea. No matter how much you might love your partner, you need to allow yourself room to let you walk away. There must always be a part of you that you retain for yourself. You need a modicum of independence, even if you're fully committed.

Once you remove codependency from your life, you'll become much happier.